Ting-Tong.
I looked up from my rummaging. Guests.
My father's old (they always iterate that they go way back) had come to pay a visit.
He was accompanied by his wife and his daughter, a cute young thing. I was about to squeeze her cheeks when she side stepped experlye and said, "Excuse me, I am eleven."
"Right." I said, withdrawing my hand. I recollected an incident that PC was telling me about. Of course, you know about it.
After all the niceties had been exchanged, all the fuss over how much the children have grown done with, the grown-ups began talking about Room number 2419, a mysterious place where my father and his friends had done things that...that people generally do at that age.
Since I had nothing much to do except to offer occasional laughs of disbelief, I began fiddling with my hair, collar, fingers and so on.
"Tell me something, what do you use for your hair? Gel or water?", asked the eleven-year-old-girl whose name I later found out was Rinki.
"Er, I don't use gel. Water occasionally.", I answered, looking at her curiously.
"No, you use gel." She said sanctimoniously, as if that's a felony.
"No, I don't!"
"Well, for the past ten minutes you have been constantly fiddling with your hair!" She accused. "You are a show-off!"
"Well, that's because I was sitting idle, dear." I said and added, "And come to think of it, you have been trying to put that lock of hair behind your ear for quite some time now." I said pointedly.
"So?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.
"So what?!"
"I am a girl." She said, as if that explained everything. "We do that."
"Right." I said, and wisely refrained from pointing out the small hole in her logic. Just eleven after all.
Remind me to be careful about how i use the word just.
***
She seemed the quintessences of curiosity once she got the measure of me. Is that a good thing? She stomped about without the slightest regard to whether I mind or not.
She suddenly came upon my guitar during her scrupulous inspection of my room.
"Play it.", She said austerely. I looked at her.
"Please." She added as an after thought.
I decided to play "Happy-Birthday" and "500 miles". I have very limited choices, you see.
"Play Jai ho." She said.
"Er, I am not an expert. Jai ho is pretty tough."
"But I want-"
"I cant." I said, and went on strumming absentmindedly.
"Tell me something, Why aren't you talking to me?" she asked.
"Er, I am talking!" (Kindly read the blog from the beginning if you, the reader, have any doubts.)
"No, I mean properly. Like chatting." She said, raising her left eyebrow. Now, I envy people who can do that. It's SO expressive! I want to do it. That reminds me, Raktima can do that too. Hmph.
"Well, you might have not noticed, but we have some differences. I am not used to talking about the stuff that you might want to talk about." I explained kindly.
"Yeah, you are right." She said, nodding. "Boys are pretty dense." She said knowingly.
I blinked.
"I was referring to our age difference, dear. I am 16. You are 11." I said, trying to gain back some respect.
"Oh thats not a problem!" She said, jumping up. "Girls have a 5 year mental lead on boys, don't you know! We are more advanced, you see. You try me, I can keep up!" she said giving me a dazzling smile.
'A chauvinist if there ever was one!' I thought to myself before I treated her to a Rohan smile.
[There is a particular photograph in facebook in which Rohan has been captured smiling. The camera man was Roro. It's that smile that I am talking about. Please, do see it.]
"Well, What do I talk about..." i said, thinking.
"Why don't you start with how many girlfriends you have?" she asked innocently.
"I, er, How many?"
"Yeah, like 7 or 8?"
"Aa.."
"Oh leave it." She snapped."You probably don't even know what a girlfriend is.", She said dismissively. I tried to give her another Rohan smile.
"Don't do that, you look like a baboon."
"Right.", I said, hissing. She made me realise that I can hiss a word that has no "s" in it.
"How many boyfriends to you have?", I asked her to drive the conversation away from turning into a comparison between a baboon and me. I was expecting triple digits.
"None." She said contemptuously.
"Why am I not surprised?", I blurted before I could stop myself.
"What?" She asked.
"Nothing!" I said quickly.
"Yes thing!", She said suspiciously "what surprise were you-"
"Oh, i said that it's a surprise that KKR are batting like that." I said, nodding at the television.
"What does KKR have to do with boyfriends?" She asked.
"You see, Shah Rukh Khan... was the boyfriend..." I began.
"Oh, do shut up." She said irritably. "I don't want boyfriends.", She stated royally.
I was flabbergasted. No one tells me to shut up! But the bottom line is that i did shut up. :(
"But don't worry, boyfriends happen all the time. You need to chill out. Besides, don't you think that you are a bit too young for-" I began.
"No, I don't think so.", She said complacently. "You are perfectly old enough to-"
"I was talking about you.", I said.
"Oh its the same, don't you know the equation?" She asked, probably thinking to herself 'hes dumb.'
"Equation?", I asked densely.
"Are dhyatt, I told you. 11G=16B. Difference of 5. Its a constant.", She snapped "Like in Physics. My mum told me that g, thats is gravity by the way, is a constant." She said smugly.
"Right.", I said, gritting my teeth delicately. "You are smart."
"I know. I get that a lot." she said, smiling good-naturedly. Was she joking? Maybe. I can never be sure.
***
"Yeah, I am in South Point. You didn't know?" She asked me severely. I was being reprimanded for something that I had no possibility of knowing. Jesus.
"In class six. In high school." She finished.
"Oh, I am in 11. In the same school."
"Oh! Then you should come and meet me during Lunch break!", She exclaimed.
"Uh, Oh-kay.", I said, nodding, imagining a very eventful Lunch break.
"And bring your friends along. Your girlfriends, boyfriends...everyone!", She said brightly.
"I don't think that will be a good idea..." I said cautiously. I have some self respect, you know.
"What?!", she asked.
"Nothing nothing. Yeah, i'll do that, yeah."
***
Guys. When's the school reopening? :(
And, are there plenty out there like this little young thing? Mommy!
I looked up from my rummaging. Guests.
My father's old (they always iterate that they go way back) had come to pay a visit.
He was accompanied by his wife and his daughter, a cute young thing. I was about to squeeze her cheeks when she side stepped experlye and said, "Excuse me, I am eleven."
"Right." I said, withdrawing my hand. I recollected an incident that PC was telling me about. Of course, you know about it.
After all the niceties had been exchanged, all the fuss over how much the children have grown done with, the grown-ups began talking about Room number 2419, a mysterious place where my father and his friends had done things that...that people generally do at that age.
Since I had nothing much to do except to offer occasional laughs of disbelief, I began fiddling with my hair, collar, fingers and so on.
"Tell me something, what do you use for your hair? Gel or water?", asked the eleven-year-old-girl whose name I later found out was Rinki.
"Er, I don't use gel. Water occasionally.", I answered, looking at her curiously.
"No, you use gel." She said sanctimoniously, as if that's a felony.
"No, I don't!"
"Well, for the past ten minutes you have been constantly fiddling with your hair!" She accused. "You are a show-off!"
"Well, that's because I was sitting idle, dear." I said and added, "And come to think of it, you have been trying to put that lock of hair behind your ear for quite some time now." I said pointedly.
"So?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.
"So what?!"
"I am a girl." She said, as if that explained everything. "We do that."
"Right." I said, and wisely refrained from pointing out the small hole in her logic. Just eleven after all.
Remind me to be careful about how i use the word just.
***
She seemed the quintessences of curiosity once she got the measure of me. Is that a good thing? She stomped about without the slightest regard to whether I mind or not.
She suddenly came upon my guitar during her scrupulous inspection of my room.
"Play it.", She said austerely. I looked at her.
"Please." She added as an after thought.
I decided to play "Happy-Birthday" and "500 miles". I have very limited choices, you see.
"Play Jai ho." She said.
"Er, I am not an expert. Jai ho is pretty tough."
"But I want-"
"I cant." I said, and went on strumming absentmindedly.
"Tell me something, Why aren't you talking to me?" she asked.
"Er, I am talking!" (Kindly read the blog from the beginning if you, the reader, have any doubts.)
"No, I mean properly. Like chatting." She said, raising her left eyebrow. Now, I envy people who can do that. It's SO expressive! I want to do it. That reminds me, Raktima can do that too. Hmph.
"Well, you might have not noticed, but we have some differences. I am not used to talking about the stuff that you might want to talk about." I explained kindly.
"Yeah, you are right." She said, nodding. "Boys are pretty dense." She said knowingly.
I blinked.
"I was referring to our age difference, dear. I am 16. You are 11." I said, trying to gain back some respect.
"Oh thats not a problem!" She said, jumping up. "Girls have a 5 year mental lead on boys, don't you know! We are more advanced, you see. You try me, I can keep up!" she said giving me a dazzling smile.
'A chauvinist if there ever was one!' I thought to myself before I treated her to a Rohan smile.
[There is a particular photograph in facebook in which Rohan has been captured smiling. The camera man was Roro. It's that smile that I am talking about. Please, do see it.]
"Well, What do I talk about..." i said, thinking.
"Why don't you start with how many girlfriends you have?" she asked innocently.
"I, er, How many?"
"Yeah, like 7 or 8?"
"Aa.."
"Oh leave it." She snapped."You probably don't even know what a girlfriend is.", She said dismissively. I tried to give her another Rohan smile.
"Don't do that, you look like a baboon."
"Right.", I said, hissing. She made me realise that I can hiss a word that has no "s" in it.
"How many boyfriends to you have?", I asked her to drive the conversation away from turning into a comparison between a baboon and me. I was expecting triple digits.
"None." She said contemptuously.
"Why am I not surprised?", I blurted before I could stop myself.
"What?" She asked.
"Nothing!" I said quickly.
"Yes thing!", She said suspiciously "what surprise were you-"
"Oh, i said that it's a surprise that KKR are batting like that." I said, nodding at the television.
"What does KKR have to do with boyfriends?" She asked.
"You see, Shah Rukh Khan... was the boyfriend..." I began.
"Oh, do shut up." She said irritably. "I don't want boyfriends.", She stated royally.
I was flabbergasted. No one tells me to shut up! But the bottom line is that i did shut up. :(
"But don't worry, boyfriends happen all the time. You need to chill out. Besides, don't you think that you are a bit too young for-" I began.
"No, I don't think so.", She said complacently. "You are perfectly old enough to-"
"I was talking about you.", I said.
"Oh its the same, don't you know the equation?" She asked, probably thinking to herself 'hes dumb.'
"Equation?", I asked densely.
"Are dhyatt, I told you. 11G=16B. Difference of 5. Its a constant.", She snapped "Like in Physics. My mum told me that g, thats is gravity by the way, is a constant." She said smugly.
"Right.", I said, gritting my teeth delicately. "You are smart."
"I know. I get that a lot." she said, smiling good-naturedly. Was she joking? Maybe. I can never be sure.
***
"Yeah, I am in South Point. You didn't know?" She asked me severely. I was being reprimanded for something that I had no possibility of knowing. Jesus.
"In class six. In high school." She finished.
"Oh, I am in 11. In the same school."
"Oh! Then you should come and meet me during Lunch break!", She exclaimed.
"Uh, Oh-kay.", I said, nodding, imagining a very eventful Lunch break.
"And bring your friends along. Your girlfriends, boyfriends...everyone!", She said brightly.
"I don't think that will be a good idea..." I said cautiously. I have some self respect, you know.
"What?!", she asked.
"Nothing nothing. Yeah, i'll do that, yeah."
***
Guys. When's the school reopening? :(
And, are there plenty out there like this little young thing? Mommy!
13 comments:
Right. So, Rick, you're a good liar after all. Isn't it your girlfriends who run into triple figures? Let's see, i can envision the party - Rick walking upto Class 6, followed by women from Nepal, Brazil, Venezuela, Scandanavia, and ofcourse, good old homeland(Oyendrila?.Bus stop?). Ah, I can see the look of supressed delight on the face of the eleven year old whom you've described so well. But ofcourse, she's a 'girl'. She's sure to put up a scornful exterior.
And rick, learn to fight back. How dare you sit tight and accept things like 11G=16B?
And as for the writing, well, your blog has the largest share of variety. And oh yes, you use it well.
Yes, she sure tried hard to put up a scornful exterior. And really, it was mute fun. Her equations, and almost frivolous disregard for me!
Didn't harm anyone, i didn't see any reason i should snap and burst her bubble.
It isn't easy to fight back when someone is so convinced about her theories!
Its Oindrilla, not Oyendrilla. LOL. :D cluck cluck.
C'mon I am playing! Bring it on, Oindrilla, Cecilia, Carla, anyone you want!!
Splendid post my friend. Excellent narration and everything. But hey, hey, hey I really need to meet that girl! 11G = 16 B is a little hard to swallow! We need to talk! And besides that! I think she was right in the rest of the things!
yeah...it's sorta boy's nature of describing a failure as 'mute fun' huh!!!!
but to be very true this 11yr LADY s way smarter than u man.......
and the eqation obviously stands right......11G=16B
This was amazing! Hehe, she's a very smart young lady, my dear sir, but do believe me that, her equations are not Universal Laws, they do not always hold true.
If only you would have given her an example of Lady Roy, she would have known that too (Imagine Tima as a 21yr old)
But yes, even Tima's arched eyebrows are frightening enough to make her older than 30 for that moment at least!
I loved reading this! It was hilarious! AND it cheered me up a good deal!
Oindrilla?? Who's THAT? Hey, how many secrets are you keeping from me, huh?
Let me dispel one of your masculine misconceptions. Girls don't try to put their hair back behind their ears if they are trying to look good. That's a gesture for looking bhodro and unassuming.
11G = 16B. How come no one sees the hidden hint here, huh? (What a pity she's only your sister! But perhaps she had one of her friends in mind!)
And I can't believe you got THIS scared of a little girl! Duh! Thought you had better stuff in you...
No one ever tells you to shut up! *raises eyebrows* Why didn't you tell me before?
And you played 500 Miles and Happy Birthday...no less than TWO WHOLE SONGS, to a girl you were seeing for the first time in your life. You did.
You did.
You did!
You did!If I ever sacrifice my self respect asking you to play again! *grits teeth audibly*
Should've started explaining Bernoulli's equation and somehow relate that to how she was -5 years old when you were born. If she didn't understand, you could have smiled in self satisfaction and said 'Exactly'. If she still had a problem, you could have pulled her cheeks like really hard and cried 'Oolliebaba' till she cried. Stupid kids!
@ Prince of Mirkwood- ROFL!
Never occurred to me! Thats one hell of a plan! *thumbs up*
@ Urmi di- toma ke dhore na debo koyekta! Its caled politeness. Choto meye. As if i will accept such bosh from you! :P
@ Deya- I believe you. Thats her point of view, anyway. Ah, eyebrows! I want to control my eyebrow muscles!
Lady Roy! I am getting dumb. That should have been my first counter!
And Thank you!
@ Timmy- Oindrilla? I told you. I never said girls are trying to look good that way. I was just pointing out that if she can do it, then what the hell is wrong with me fiddling with my hair?
Scared? Pheh. I was playing along for fun.
Whole songs? what gave you that idea? I am just into chords. After I know chord, then, and only then, I can play whole songs. They were just two line notations!
Don't worry, i don't forget promises that easy! =)
Rick, that was most undignified of you. Poor girl, I can imagine herself crying to sleep, her makeup sploshed all over her T-shirt, saying to herself, "I put on that Dior perfume, the baboon (the girl has a very useful vocabulary, by the way) didn't even notice, he probably thought it was vanilla ice-cream, and when I tried to entice him with that scarlet pout of mine he was too interested in trying to hide the fact that he two-times to even notice! Boo hoo! Maybe I should have tried the Marilyn Monroe look..."
My man, you are a natural magnet for the fairer sex, we know about diamagnetism, ferromagnetism and paramagnetism. And now we have Ricomagnetism, in which one lucky guy grabs the attention of every covetous specimen of the female species around. Be warned, Rick: Indian, Spanish, Korean, Scandinavian or Venezuelan as the case may be, their boyfriends (if they have any) will all have the same intention- to perfect a recipe for dried Rick with anchovies in turtle sauce.
Let's name her: Poutingly Pretty Pamela.
or is it Luscious Little Lila?
or even...Sadly Sweet Sally?
And yes, ladies do have a tendency to tuck strands of hair behind their ears. They look nice though Rick, at least I feel so- though I cannot claim to be as experienced as you in these delicate matters, milord.
And Rick, let me remind you that alongside a Rohan smile there also exists a Rohan bear-hug which methinks you've forgotten. Tch tch. Wear cushions the next time we meet.
And Roro- please contribute to this valuable discussion of ours by recommenting to my comments. Rick assures me he is VERY interested.
@ Rohan
Sheesh!!
She is my cousin. Rohan, I would be delighted if you give that cavernous mind of yours a well earned break. Rickomagnetism. L3/S3/P3 what next? At this rate, you'll run out of ideas, see! So take a small break, hibernate, maybe.
Me experience? Right. look who's talking.
Post a Comment