South City to Hong-Kong, Hitler to Tom cruise...

This is Rick, reporting from his home about some striking incidents that unfolded yesterday in the Lake gardens area. It was planned that 8 euphoric pointers would congregate at South City to watch the Academy Award winning Slumdog Millionaire.

The programme started with most of us reaching late. Although not of any real significance, but it must be reported that our dear old Prithviraj almost started without his purse. Anyway, on reaching south city a rather woebegone surprise greeted us, a surprise that we anticipated but neglected. A tribute to our blind optimism.

When buying tickets for the 10:00 am show, the Lady at the counter, though not unscrupulous, was forced by rules and regulations to bar us from entering because we were underage. At this point, Rohan, the overgrown chump among us, decided to try his charm on the lady. Heres an excerpt.

"No Sir, we cant allow anyone below eighteen."

"But we are all eighteen and above!" insisted Rohan.

"What about him?" she asked pointing at Kaustuv's brother Krishnayan who's all of 10.

"Oh! Actually he's deformed, he's perfectly eighteen." said Rohan without blanching.

And his charmed must have worked because he came back grinning with 10 tickets. And so, just as we were about to exalt at the successful deception, the guards at the gates spoiled it all.

"You need age verification."

"Whats that?" asked Bhaswar.

"Something that verifies your age." said the man expressionlessly.

"i know!('you moron', bhaswar must have thought)" said Bhaswar. "But like what?"

"Driving license, College ID and the sorts."

i was about to whip out my School ID but i realised it was concrete proof that i WASN'T eighteen.

So we all gave up, while Anwesha looked horrified because she was the one who paid all of the seven hundred bucks for tickets and no doubt dreading that the others wont pay her back.

But of course, Rohan, the man of the moment, came up with something.

"You don't understand" he told the guards "We are all a large family and everyone is above eighteen and..." I couldn't hear the rest because i escaped snorting and laughing. However, Rohan wasn't too lucky this time. We weren't allowed to watch Slumdog.

So we all barged into Starmark to take out our fury. (Actually we walked in gracefully, but well, i need to show we weren't quite pleased with the authorities.) Once in Starmark i pounced on "Kite Runner", "Airman" and a couple of other books. As a result i managed to read none of them. And moreover at starmark, my reading habits were unabashedly ridiculed by Miss Raktima and all the 'Chetan Bhagats ran out of stock right at the crucial moment as though the books reciprocated her dislike for them'.

It was decided unanimously that we would catch the 12 o clock show of Valkyrie. And so we decided to have lunch at the food court. We came out of Starmark but Kaustuv couldnt be found. By the time we found Kaustuv, Rohan managed to lose himself. We continued in this fashion for a quarter of an hour and then regrouped. I also had a good mind to slink off and get lost but its me, isn't it? Always thinking about the greater good.

It was here that a problem of impressive magnitude manifested itself. Well, a problem specifically for Lady Raktima Roy. She was seen looking at the escalator with pure terror. After some heavy needling and cajoling she somehow stepped on the escalator [I pushed, ;-)] And then when the escalator reached the upper floor, she jumped off it. The jump has been variously analyzed as a leap of joy, relief, fear et cetera by the curious onlookers.

At food court, the group strolled around peeking at the food stalls and joking while effectively forgetting the real motive: Lunch. So we had to go without lunch and buy tickets for Valkyrie. The tickets purchasing ceremony passed without any remarkable incident.

While passing through the metal detectors we were frisked by those same guards who had barred us from going in before. Having nothing better to do, i made a face at them thus exposing the chewing gum.

"Sir, no chewing gum allowed."

Me and my big mouth. Or rather, me and my open mouth.

On entering, we found the hall surprisingly empty. But the ticket checker stoically told us that we were to sit at the allotted second row. We sat down obediently without any fuss or bother only to strike when the enemy wasn't looking. Five minutes into the film and we retreated to the fourth or fifth row.

The film, Valkyrie, was good. The acting was vivid and Tom Cruise as the lead managed to surprise us all. It was a far cry from his usual chocolate boy films. After an interesting but slow first half, the film rose to a truth revealing climax. For a more detailed account of the film please read the review by the man of all moments, Rohan Ghatak.

The ticket checker made another appearance and shooed us off to the second row again, explaining that we needed to pay more to sit in the fifth row. We nodded solemnly to clarify that we understood and came back to the fifth row after he left. Simple and effective.

After valkyrie, Roro and Prithviraj left immediately, one sighting mummy problems while other had to meet someone. So the remaining six sighted hunger problems and decided to lunch. Kaustuv lead the way to Hong-Kong, a restaurant located a few hundred meters down the Prince Anwar Shah road.

A side issue, but i might as well mention it. It came to light that Kaustuv's brother, Krishnayan goes to school in the same carpool as my cousin brother. It will be sufficient to say that whatever i learnt is enough to give my brother sleepless nights.

At hong-Kong, as the name suggests, they serve Chinese food. However Rohan departed early saying that the "British Council" excuse he was banking on, wasn't so bankable after all.

And so after gorging on some Indianised Chinese delicacies, we paid the bill. I mean, i am just clarifying, plenty of people don't. We were(and still are) decent.

Once out, we began haggling with our parents to let us stay longer. There was this two feet high wall just at the entrance of Hong-Kong. I sat down on the wall feeling too full. No one noticed but i suddenly tilted backwards. I would have fallen if it weren't for my death like grip on the top of the wall. I hastily climbed down, thanking my lucky stars.

So, imagine my surprise when the following events unfolded, almost like an action replay. Raktima jumped on the wall and began swinging. And then she toppled backwards losing her balance. She grasped Anwesha's arm for support but in a flash, both of them crashed on the floor amidst a confusion of head and limbs.

So, in spite of having a supreme command over physics, mistakes in calculation of Centre of Gravity can happen.

Extremely put out with us boys who laughed at her fall, Miss Raktima and Miss Deyasini decided to go for a walk through the lanes and by-lanes in that area. Trying to take a photograph, Kaustuv managed to step on some world-class cat shit. Then there was this old man who had taken an apparent liking to Anwesha. I wasn't present during the entire episode, but when i went to see what he was up to, i found that he was advising Kaustuv's 10 year old brother on how to marry and live happily ever after. A jewel of a man, for sure. After the photo shoot, we decided to head home. Home as in anyone's home, not necessarily our own home as in Raktima's case who went to Deyasini's home.

Kaustuv, Anwesha and Krishnayan took a cab and vanished into oblivion(actually i don't know where they went, hence the vague sense of direction) while the rest of us walked to Jadavpur Thana and dispersed.

From there on I continued my adventure alone. I met Ankan da who told me exactly how difficult the Joint Entrances were. I met a stray canine that nipped at my ankle and I met a Bus conductor who asked me the fare to my place. I was unexpectedly, stupidly honest.

And i reached home in one piece. So thats how a glorious 16th came to end.



N.B: Hey people, did you know that the food at Honk-kong didn't make friends with my Alimentary system?