The little family dinner

"Rick dear, come to the table for you dinner!"
"Coming, mum!"
Sweet repetition of the above lines for about 7 times and then...
"Rick! come here right now!"
This used to happen about 3 years ago...the days when the world was so beautiful, so nice...
And now...
"Rick, you are coming to the dinner table within 30 seconds." Period.

Once seated, my dad, who prides himself a connoisseur in fishy matters-er fish matters, sniffs at a particular preparation and smiles.
I cross my fingers and hope for the best.
"So, today you cooked that "!@$#$@"(pardon, i dont quite remember the name)? Did you put that "%^&*%$" and "^%##%^&" when cooking?" he asks my mum eagerly.
"Yes, i did." says my mum shortly.She isn't too happy either, she had to cook that fish.
"Ah! Rick, you will have two pieces, okay? You need to know that fishes in themselves are..." I try my hardest to think of a before-weight-loss- Adnan Sami doing cartwheels. Effect: Immediate imperviousness.

Dinner starts formally with me giving dark looks to mum. I mouth silently "We have to eat this fish? What do i do? Extricate the fish and eat the bones? Because the bones are in overwhelming majority."
She mouths back," No, i will not force you to eat it." Only she forgets to do it silently.
Dad gives me his extremely rare i-am-the-owner cum head-of-this-place look.
"You will eat it."
Its advisable that an altercation does not follow that look. It's end is supremely predictable because someone becomes rather irrational.
"But dad, just looks at this, its virtually boneless!" i say sarcastically.
I didnt realise he was getting sharper by the day. But he was.
"Think about it like this, the more bones there are the better the fish tastes. Dont you love ilish?" he asks me.
I had to admit that Ilish is wow, but this...?!
I had once made the mistake of telling my dad that I am weak at variations. He took it as a personal insult.
"He is a living calculator" i tell everyone who listens. Really, he calculates 369*354 in 6 seconds mentally, faster than a calculator.Well, i generally fumble for a second with the calculator but thats a different matter.
"Its like this: the taste of the fish varies as the number of bones." he tells me shaking a spoon in front of my face.
"Fine and whats the constant?" i ask belligerently.
"You."
I am stunned. I lose the argument.


Vegetable Bonanza.

I lose the argument, my spirits are down and then mum drops her bombshell.
"Here" she says, while giving me liberal amounts of what looked like a miniature version of snakes coiled around branches and floating on marshes.

I gulp.
"Er, mum, what exactly is this?First-day-in-New-Year special?" i ask innocently.

"No, its called sukto. Its very nutritious and i wont hear a word against it."

I suddenly remembered something.
"Mum, you remember our deal?" I ask dangerously.
"yes, i remember. As far as i know, night time is my domain." she says coolly, far from cowering under my dangerous tone.
The deal was simple: During the day i eat what i choose and at night i eat what mum chooses.
"yes, but today was an exception, you were home today and you stuffed me with kacha kola!"
She tries hard to recall and with style, what with that wonderfully done frown and out-of-focus eyes. I really wanted to remind her that it was a mere 5 hrs ago but refrain.
"Well, yes, but-" The subtle change in the tone is all i will ever need to make my move.
"I wont" i say stoically.

"Dinner is the time of the day when men enjoy food."-Some smart ass who didn't have the guts to live in my time so that i could strangle him.