Mayhem at breakfast.

My mum and dad leave together for their office. Thats the time i have breakfast, more or less. That should speak volumes about my breakfast adventures. Like today.
"Rick, your toasts are on that plate. Marmalade, Margarine, butter, whatever you need, on the tray beside."
"But i want-"
"i dont care what you want."
"Right." i said dejected. I so wanted maggie.
Dad opened the door and came out struggling with his tie.
"Where's my breakfast?" he demanded.
I pointed at the bowl of corn-flakes while slathering my toasts with obscene amounts of margarine.
He takes the bowl and hopped back into his room to untie the knot. His tie, i mean.
Mum stormed into the room and saw me still buttering the bread.
"Still not finished?"
"It's been 3 minutes, mum, taking into account your entry and exit."
"BE quick." She muttered before storming back into the kitchen.
"Where's my blue pinstriped shirt?" My dad demanded from his room.
"I told Rick to press it yesterday." Mum hollered back.
I suddenly felt my shirt collar growing rather tight and could hear the distant rumbles of a storm. Dad is very particular about his shirts.
"Rick?" he asked, irritated."Where's my shirt?"
"Dad, you look really cool in that White shirt, yeah the one you are holding, everyone will tell you, you look superb in that." i said.
"You think so?" my dad asked, smiling widely.
"yeah yeah, and throw in that awesome black tie and... you look drop dead handsome."
"Ah, well, okay!" He shut the door to change.
I breathed easy.
"Nicely done, but that wont work on me,Mr Pal, have your breakfast now!" she said, busily exchanging stuff with the fridge.
"A'right."
While i sat chewing my bread, Dad came out.
"How do i look?" he asked, smiling.
"Se..se...ss..superb!" i managed, cursing my traitorous tongue.
He went to check his reflection in the mirror and gasped.
"Oh no!"
"What happened?" Mum and i say in unison.
"My beard, I have to shave!" he cried looking at his watch, which was ten minutes fast. Mum's conspiracy.
"You what?" said my mum, her tone changing for the worse.
"Shave."
"i wake up at 6 in the morning-"
"6:15" i said. I was up earlier than her.
"Shut up, Rick, i wake up at 6 in the morning, make 7 cups coffee-"
"Both of mine were instants, mum."
"Shut up!"she said glaring at me "Spend half an hour waking you up, I cook for your son(note, i am no longer her son), and i take care of the entire household!" she told dad, angrily."What did you do?"
I wanted to tell her that she need not cook for me, that i was perfectly happy with two omelettes for lunch which i can make myself, but it doesn't do well to push one's luck too much. I have learned the hard way, of course.
"He woke up, got the papers from outside the door, solved the sudoku, solved the crossword, told me the news updates, told me his shares crashed yet again, took his bath, got dressed and is shaving now." i said, counting my fingers.
"You call that doing something ?" glared my mum.
"No- i er-" my dad began.
"If, IF i am late because of you again, then i will, i will, not cook tonight!" she threatened.
"Dad, shave right now, without another word, dont argue, do as she says." I ordered him, while maintaining a straight face. He gave me a hurt look before he rushed to the bathroom. he likes food as much as i do.
"Er, wheres my razor?" he asked meekly.
"Its in that cupboard!" replied my mum, exasperated while i chewed my bread looking at them.
"You are still-" she began.
"I'm done, I'm done..." i snapped, depositing the plate at the sink.
"because of him....always late...do everything.." i heard my mum muttering.
Dad came out grinning from ear to ear.
"i am ready" he announced.
"About time, too." barked my mum.
"Shaving doesnt take anytime at all, You worry too much." He told mum.
"I worry too much?" she asks frowning, my sensors screaming red alert.
"Yeah, what are you talking about, dad?" i said, while both of them looked at me as if i was a startling new development.
"That day, you were all excited because you had that meeting with the higher ups, weren't you?" i asked shrewdly.
"yes, but your mum is much more hyper." (Note, now she is just my mum)
"ME? hyper?" she asked, hunting for her glasses all over the table.
"yes, ask your son." dad said, tying his shoelaces.
She glared at me quizzically. I have never quite understood how one glares quizzically but there she was, doing just that. Maybe it comes with age and experience and a son like me.
"Well, yeah mum, you tend to be slightly-" i began when she narrowed her eyes.
"-Very very slightly, you know, not even noticeable, but just the little bit hyper."
"Chorer sakkhi matal." she muttered, while i chewed my tongue trying to figure out the meaning.
"I am outdoors before you." My dad said contemptuously, stepping out of the house."And you say you are faster..."
My mum shot him a look. The look missed because he had already started climbing down the stairs. No casualties.
"Bye, dad." i yelled.
"Bye..." his voice floated back. "Don't disregard pathfinder and do press my shirt tomorrow."
i smiled sheepishly.
"Go and study now, i cant believe how much time you waste during breakfast!" she said, crest-fallen."who'll say you have madhyamiks fron feb 25th?" she asked.
"Me, and my friends too."
"You dont answer back when i ask a rhetorical question!" she said reprovingly.
i nodded as if my life depended on it.
"Bye, and dont forget to have your lunch on time and best of luck with geography, dont forget the maps, and objectives too..." she went on saying till it was impossible to hear anything.
But i didn't get my maggie. :-(